This is a video of a guy eating Funyuns and watching a car engine explode during an oil change, all set to Bon Jovi's 'Blaze of Glory'. I read the Youtube comments looking for an explanation, and the consensus is that the explosion wasn't caused by the oil change, but something else. What the hell do I know? I don't know shit about cars besides I'm not allowed to legally operate them in the state of California anymore. Hit the jump for the GOT-DAMN DO I LOVE ME SOME EXPLOSIONS. "Did you hear that?" Hear what? "Your name getting added to a government watch list." SONOFA.

Lake Vostok, the pristine lake hidden under two and a half miles of Antarctic glacier for almost 20-million years, has finally been reached by the drill of Russian scientists. They hope to develop a better understanding of the earth 20-million years ago, but will probably only develop a strange disease from whatever the hell's down there and then we'll have to nuke the continent to save humanity. What? I'm a glass half-empty kinda guy!

'If it goes well, a breakthrough opens up a whole new chapter in our understanding of our planet and possibly moons in our solar system and planets far beyond. 'If it doesn't go well, it casts a pall over the whole effort to explore this wet underside of Antarctica.'

AHAHAHAHHAHA, "and if it doesn't go well we wasted a lot of time and effort and didn't get anything from it". Or did they? Are you thinking what I'm thinking? "Pump the water up, bottle it, and sell it to rich people?" Even better! SAY we did all that, but then just sell them my dirty bath water. "My God, you're a genius!" Thanks, I've been wearing my thinking cap overtime lately. "Those are women's underwear." THEY WORK WONDERS. Breakthrough! Russian scientists drill into Antarctic lake buried under the ice for 20 million years [dailymail] Thanks to Si, who wants to be the first to drink from the sacred lake to see if he gains superpowers. If he does, he plans on ruling over the lake like his own personal Lazarus Pit. I like your style!

Just in time for Valentine's Day comes this set of Boyfriend Badges from Geekologie Reader/Etsy Seller Ashey J. What the f*** is a boyfriend badge? No clue, but I did make it to all the way to Webelos in the Boy Scouts.

My boyfriend is an achievement whore when it comes to gaming, so these buttons are a perfect v-day gift. The ($8 -- or $1.50 apiece) set includes (from top left to bottom right): Drunk Make Outs, You've Accepted My Fetish, Breaking the Fart Barrier, My Pet Likes You, Met the Parents, and Moral Support While Puking.

Man, I don't WANT to break the fart barrier. There are just some things a couple shouldn't share in a relationship, and shooting fudge round blanks is one of them. I accidentally flapped cheeks in the shower one time when my girlfriend was combing her hair and I started squeaking my feet on the tub floor and singing real loud to cover my moose tracks. *sung to the tune of 'Singing in the Rain'* Etsy Product Site Thanks Ashley, now how about a set of Geekologie achievement badges? You know stuff like 'FIRST!', 'Loyal Tipster' and 'I Flamed Somebody For No Good Reason'.

This is a series of pictures from the Facebook profiles of video game characters. Obviously they're fake, which I wish I would've known before spending a half hour trying to find and friend Nathan Drake and Solid Snake. OMG, how cool would it be to know those two guys in real life? "Wow,GW -- man-crush much?" Tehehehehehe. Hit the jump for eight more.

Researchers in Africa have unearthed the remains of a prehistoric crocodile they believe attracted mates with the use an ornate "skin helmet". *eyeballing picture* Nope -- those eyes are waaaaaay too close together for my taste.

By looking at the blood-vessel scarring on the skull, the boffins figured out that the croc had a circular mound of skin on its head, which has never been seen before in crocodiles. This "shield" was probably used to attract mates and intimidate enemies, and could also have had a biological function as a thermo-regulator to stop the croc becoming too hot-headed. Analysing the skull also led the researchers to guess that the size of the prehistoric beast was somewhere in the region of 30 feet long, five feet of which was just its head.

Damn -- a five-foot long head? That's huge! And to think I've always been self-conscious about my forehead. "That's because you pass out drunk and people draw penises on it." Ahahahahahha -- HAIRY ONES. F*** I need to find some new friends. AND A JOB. Get it? They found out I do nothing but write Geekologie all day. Boffins find prehistoric croc species with 'mate-attracting' skin helmet [register] Thanks to SaraDevil, not to be confused with SaraAngel, who won't try to trick you out of your soul.

Facebook user (really descriptive, I know) Alicia Scantlin went and crocheted Skyrim costumes for her dogs. These are them. There's a Dragonborn and a dragon. Can you guess which dog she likes better? Not the dragon. You can tell by the picture he's embarrassed. Alicia plans on selling custom-sized versions of the costumes on eBay, so follow the link back to her Facebook and stay tuned for that if you're interested. Chloe? Chloe doesn't like playing dressup. Do you Chloe? "...She's licking her b-hole." That means she likes the food I feed her! Hit the jump for a couple more including the costumes not on. Your dogs are NAKED.

Yeaaaaaaaaah, based on the discoloration around the seat hinges and the trashcan overflowing with toilet paper I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say somebody should probably be playing on novice. Amateur! *peeing on own feet* The Expert Mode You Don't Want To Mess With [neatorama] Thanks to Jordan and cory, who can both pee with their eyes closed. Pfft, who can't? SPOILER: Me -- I'm always afraid somebody's gonna run up and touch it.

This is the Japanese Face Slimmer, a $50 (FIFTY DOLLARS?!??!!1) piece of molded piece of plastic you jam in your mouth to look like a lovedoll. You're supposed to wear it while reciting the vowel sounds of the alphabet three times a minute, twice a day. And that...that's supposed to make your face slimmer. Granted it won't work, but none of these things do. You want to slim down your face? Here's what you do: choke yourself while your food's digesting so none of fat can travel up to your face. Simple! "I'm sorry, GW, but I'm pretty sure this is some sort of sex toy." It might be, the product site's in Japanese! Product Site via Get Perfect Duck Lips With The Face Slimmer [incrediblethings] Thanks to bb, who's convinced laughing is the best face exercise. Really? I heard it was standing in front of a fan so you sound like Darth Vader.

This shrimpy looking beast was dragged up from the ocean floor 4-miles down off the coast of New Zealand. But it's not a shrimp, it's an amphipod, a group of insect-like organisms that rarely grow larger than a sea-monkey. And speaking of sea-monkeys-- "They go bananas for buried treasure?" You. Ruin. Everything.

...These tiny animals don't often grow more than 1cm in length, except the Supergiant viariety of course, which can exceed 11 inches head to tail. "They actually don't feel real," Alan Jamieson, University of Aberdeen lecturer and expedition leader, told OurAmazingPlanet of the November 2011 find. "They feel like plastic toys. They have a waxy texture to them." The creature, along with other specimens, was captured in a deep-water trap located four miles down in the Kermadec Trench, one of the deepest on Earth. "We pulled up the trap, and lying among the fish were these absolutely massive amphipods, and there was no inkling whatsoever that these things should be there," said Jamieson.

No kidding, Alan. Didn't you ever stop to think that maybe you didn't expect them to be there because they SHOULDN'T have been there? Know what I'm saying? I'm saying they belong on my plate! Now, somebody run to Costco for cocktail sauce, I'll call Old Bay and see if we can't get a 55-gallon drum. What the Hell Did Researchers Pull from the Depths of New Zealand's Seas? [gizmodo] Thanks to b-side, not as popular as the chart-topper on side A, but still okay in my book.

This shrimpy looking beast was dragged up from the ocean floor 4-miles down off the coast of New Zealand. But it's not a shrimp, it's an amphipod, a group of insect-like organisms that rarely grow larger than a sea-monkey. And speaking of sea-monkeys-- "They go bananas for buried treasure?" You. Ruin. Everything.

...These tiny animals don't often grow more than 1cm in length, except the Supergiant viariety of course, which can exceed 11 inches head to tail. "They actually don't feel real," Alan Jamieson, University of Aberdeen lecturer and expedition leader, told OurAmazingPlanet of the November 2011 find. "They feel like plastic toys. They have a waxy texture to them." The creature, along with other specimens, was captured in a deep-water trap located four miles down in the Kermadec Trench, one of the deepest on Earth. "We pulled up the trap, and lying among the fish were these absolutely massive amphipods, and there was no inkling whatsoever that these things should be there," said Jamieson.

No kidding, Alan. Didn't you ever stop to think that maybe you didn't expect them to be there because they SHOULDN'T have been there? Know what I'm saying? I'm saying they belong on my plate! Now, somebody run to Costco for cocktail sauce, I'll call Old Bay and see if we can't get a 55-gallon drum. What the Hell Did Researchers Pull from the Depths of New Zealand's Seas? [gizmodo] Thanks to b-side, not as popular as the chart-topper on side A, but still okay in my book.